Intrepid cunts venture into the deep dark south

Melbourne, for those who haven't had the pleasure of visiting, is a city divided. Quite literally - down its middle flows the Yarra River and though you could swim from bank to bank through the slow coffee water in under five minutes people just. don't. cross. You'd think it was a sky-high electric barbed wire fence patrolled by cannibalistic lepers, the way we avoid it. We're Northside or we're Southside and, except for in extreme emergencies, we stick to our own turf.

Which is why I am so very impressed that two of the daring crafters who attended Trashbag Rehab took the gorgeous cunts they produced on the evening, left their beer-stained comfort zone, and bravely ventured to the spray-tanned bleached-teeth south for some flinging action.
















Well done Jade & Andrea - brilliant work.

Can I put a disco ball in the anus, Mum?

Oh good lordy that was fun. Trashbag Rehab was an exercise in cunt-making mania.

At a rough guesstimate, one kazillion freakishly gorgeous people showed up,



collected their respect-your-box kit with needle, thread and basic instructions,



kicked back to tunes from DJ Super Julie



and proceeded to create the most divinely diverse array of cunt fling-ups yet.

The results were wonderful


Though there is reason to suspect that, despite being given diagrams, some of the crafters were quite unfamiliar with the appearance of a cunt...



... they were all made with love & hot love was in the air when the evening ended with the awesome punk-knitting vid 'Marsha' by Kate Just.

My favourite quotes from the event:

"I picked up a cute boy last night but I left my vagina at the bar" -Hannah

"Who ARE these people?" - Passer-by

& from the eight year old son of Bebida Bar's owners "Mum, can I put a disco ball in the anus?" to which she replied "Yes you can, Son, yes you can". Gold.

I wanna do it all again! Which is good, because we are. The next Trashy Rehab will also be blessedly cunt-related: embroidery porn. Subscribe to Craft Cartel & we'll let you know all about it. In the meantime - give your cunt a nice fling xx

Trashbag Rehab!

When I am not delving into cunts I am skitting around trying to scheme up pranks with Kakariki in our Craft Cartel. Also I do a little napping, swimming, scribbling, garden poking, drinking, dancing, kissing, playing with my kitten and staring into space. But lately it has mainly been those two things: cunts and crafts. When I can combine the two it is happy times & happy times are coming very very soon.


On Monday 6th April the Craft Cartel are holding our first monthly 'Trashbag Rehab' event - a hands on radical craft workshop for anyone who's over-dosed on cutesy craft crap. It'll be held in a place dear to my heart - the wonderful Bebida Cafe/Bar at 325 Smith St Fitzroy. Each session we're going to have a different project, musos & a special guest artist/therapist.
Anyone is invited to rock up & use our materials or bring their own craft junk to rehabilitate/swap.

First project : CUNT FLING-UPS!

Plus! We're going to have a special screening of punk-knitting vid - 'Marsha' by sculptural knitting artist Kate Just. Hot.

Plus! Tunes from DJ Super Julie. HOT!

It's four bucks & runs from 5:30 - 9:30pm-ish. Free champagne for early comers. 1/2 price drinks between 6&7.

you should come because it will be awesome. facefuck us if you like.

Fuckin GrauWAHRAUGHAHGRaAAAA!!

A fucking icky grotty little blip on my experience happened in the wee hours of this Sunday morning just past.
I had such a beautiful night on Saturday - the Bankrupt's Ball; theatre & food & wine & dancing & friends & then: ka-splat. I was riding slowly home, enjoying the warm evening air and the lamp light - gathered in still pools red, yellow and white on the empty roads. I've always loved cycling through the night city in summer - it can be so calming, almost meditative. Like swimming laps.
I was halfway down Sydney road when a guy ran out onto the road and started groping my breasts. I have no fucking idea how I didn't fall off the bike. I batted at his hands - pushed them away. It seemed to go on for a long time.

'FUCKING NO FUCKING FUCK OFF' When I managed to push his hands from my breasts he stuck one up my dress and into my knickers.

How the fuck did I not fall off my bike? I think he was grinning. Everything else about him is a blur - he was average height, average build, standard hair chop colour skin bluck. The things I remember are the hands and the snickers.

Then somehow I was past and still on my bike and still cycling and still intact.

'WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!'

I wish this was the first time something like this had happened to me, to anyone. Most of my close female friends have experienced an assault of some kind. It doesn't do great things for my view of humanity. At other times I have been so paralysed with shock that my frozen lips haven't even opened in protest. My silence has been the source of a small sad shame in me, for not 'sticking up' for myself. So this time I took a bit of comfort that at least I'd been able to bark out something 'FUCKING NO FUCKING FUCK OFF'.

The problem is I don't wander around expecting to be treated like a second hand blow-up doll so it's hard to come up with a pithy biting insult on the spot. Therefore I have decided to prepare one in advance which I can then whip out when the need arises. The best suggestion so far has come from my dear friend, Mzzz Erin Tasmania:

"GrauWAHRAUGHAHGRaAAAA!!" to be screamed with tongue protruded KISS style.

I can only hope potential gropers will appreciate such eloquent poetry.

Between The Cracks Interview cut&paste

Something went wrong with the clicking doovielacker so here is the interview cut&paste. or else you can click HERE and (hopefully!) be directed to .exactly.the.same.story. (but with heaps of other awesome articles too).

Why do you think people are so opposed to the word cunt?

I think most people probably don’t really know themselves why they find the word so offensive. The way it is used has become so established - either spat out in extreme anger and desperation or blotted out to just one letter in the media - that it has taken on a kind of mythic madness and power. People just shy away from even thinking about it - it’s reputation is so distasteful that they don’t seem to realize that this word that they feel is so wounding and disgusting is a word that signifies the wondrous place that we all entered the world from. Of course there are those who think that women and their sexual organs are intrinsically evil and I find it perfectly
understandable why these people use ‘cunt’ as a swear word.

Is that a real cunt tattoo on that young lady’s butt?

I haven’t been close enough to give it the spit-&-rub test but I believe so. It’s not the tat that worries me though, it’s more the expression on her face. Quite disturbing.

Do you think that Greg Taylor in part expected and hoped to have some controversy regarding his show?

I don’t know Greg personally but as I understand it the show wasn’t a conceptual one but more of a happy accident - a clay torso he was making exploded in the kiln and he was struck that the cunt fragment was a powerful piece in itself. Of course he can’t have been naive to the provocative impact his work would inevitably have but I don’t believe that stirring up controversy was his stimulus. I couldn’t say the same of my intentions.

What’s the response been like towards your fling ups?

Bemusement / mild embarrassment / hate mail / high-fives

What’s your artistic background?

I don’t have one - at least not a public one - but I think I would wither away if I wasn’t busy creating something or other. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years scribbling in notebooks and scheming up pranks - particularly with my dear friend Rayna Fahey who runs radical craft group Craft Cartel (http://craftcartel.com) with me.

What do you think about creating a global map that is color coordinated to the level of acceptance of the word cunt?

Digging the epic scale of the idea. Does any place accept the word? I imagine a lot of people would get quite hot and bothered about the results: lovely!

Have you used other mediums other than fling ups to dignify cunt?

Undies emblazoned with ‘cunts: deep warm and delightful - NOT offensive’ (subtlety isn’t something I practise on this topic), ‘respect your box’ boxes, Cunt-Catchers (like dream-catchers but with loftier aims), Cunt cakes with jelly beans or cherries as clits and I keep a blog ‘http:/.blogspot/cuntisnotadirtyword.com’ - I did have a facebook group: ‘I don’t find the word ‘cunt’ offensive’ but it got pulled for being “offensive”.
Any plans to bring cunts to other towns to enjoy?

Sure - if anyone invites me - I’d be thrilled to swap cunt for board.

What do you recommend people do to promote awareness about cunt’s kinder side?

Start using cunt as a compliment - as in - ‘you’re a top cunt!’

Between The Cracks

I really cannot think of a more appropriate name for a magazine that has so awesomely decided to feature an interview about my cunts.

Check it in Between The Cracks online. So hip right now.

& while you're there you should check out their feature on Billy Pacak's cunt pipe sculptures. What gorgeous company I'm keeping!

A brief hot fling

We're in the midst of the hottest EVER heatwave here in Melbs & I decided to give these cunt palettes a fling in the sunshine.


They were dangling happily over Canning st Carlton but only lasted a couple of days...


Someone must have climbed all the way up the tree in the blazing heat to retrieve them.
It's amazing the lengths people will go to to get their hands on some cunt.