Very pretty (thanks Ms. K) but I don't think I'd want to risk misdirecting any visitors.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
I have not had cheese, wine, chocolate or sex for TWO months
I may be about to have an identity crisis. Who am I?
WHO AM I??!!
WHO AM I??!!
Monday, July 7, 2008
I'm never playing ping-pong again
If you ask someone what they associate with Thailand, prostitution will probably be up there. Prostitution - cunts - I should be having a field day but after spending a few days in sex-capital Pattaya all my words (& plenty of my other bits) have dried up.
I'm not opposed to porn, or prostitution, or ping-pong balls for that matter, but the particular combination here could almost make me cry. Pattaya is a town of cloned couples - overweight, ageing, pasty white men teamed with tiny, young, scantily-clad Thai women. Misery multiplied.
Weaving my way through the pimps & gaudy neon lights the other evening, for a stretch I found myself walking behind a couple. The man was middle-aged, hair greying at the temples, he was stocky & very short so that I was looking down at his balding crown. He was clutching the hand of a very slim young Thai girl - 17? 18? She was wearing long shorts, a singlet, scuffs, looking straight ahead. Occasionally I caught a glimpse of her profile - set & unsmiling. I'd hesitate to call her beautiful, in several years she might be. She had the potential perhaps to be stunning but for the time being she still had a coltish youthfulness about her - the glow of newness. She was the essence of loveliness but beautiful? No, not yet.
She pulled her hand from his and shook it but when she dropped it back by her side she let him pick it up again & it hung there, limp in his.
He kept nudging into her; she looked straight ahead. He lurched up onto his toes & tried to peck her on the cheek. She flinched away & he furrowed his brow - looked offended, hurt. He made attempts at trying to talk to her but she didn't look his way, she just abruptly shrugged her shoulder a few times as though a pinched nerve was troubling her.
And that dreadful hand - comatose between his fingers.
She was revolted by him.
He was her grandfather - probably, to her, incomprehensibly old. She wanted money. He wanted to fuck her but something more as well- he wanted to soak in her loveliness - to own her in some way. But it was beyond her, beyond her to pretend to enjoy him.
It seems that there is a lot more than bodies being commodified here - men come seeking not just sex but souls. It seems such a tragic farce for everyone involved. I don't understand how people can so easily make light of an industry so depressing. To ridicule & humiliate the women involved in a transaction that in its essence is ridiculous & humiliating is barbaric & easy. I feel sick (physically sick) at the ease with which people seem able to make 'jokes' about ping-pong balls & 'love me long-time' pick-up lines.
Of course it's not always such a stark mismatch as the couple I walked behind. Sometimes it seems the couples are close enough in age & appearance to make the scenario almost plausible (with a big nudge from poverty playing cupid, of course) but too often it's all just sad & freaky vaudeville parade.
I've tried to think of the girl spending her money. How would she spend it? I've imagined her getting a massage, a full body scrub, a haircut, a pedicure. I wonder what, if anything, she could possibly buy to make up for that terrible, dead, limp hand.
Food maybe.
I'm not opposed to porn, or prostitution, or ping-pong balls for that matter, but the particular combination here could almost make me cry. Pattaya is a town of cloned couples - overweight, ageing, pasty white men teamed with tiny, young, scantily-clad Thai women. Misery multiplied.
Weaving my way through the pimps & gaudy neon lights the other evening, for a stretch I found myself walking behind a couple. The man was middle-aged, hair greying at the temples, he was stocky & very short so that I was looking down at his balding crown. He was clutching the hand of a very slim young Thai girl - 17? 18? She was wearing long shorts, a singlet, scuffs, looking straight ahead. Occasionally I caught a glimpse of her profile - set & unsmiling. I'd hesitate to call her beautiful, in several years she might be. She had the potential perhaps to be stunning but for the time being she still had a coltish youthfulness about her - the glow of newness. She was the essence of loveliness but beautiful? No, not yet.
She pulled her hand from his and shook it but when she dropped it back by her side she let him pick it up again & it hung there, limp in his.
He kept nudging into her; she looked straight ahead. He lurched up onto his toes & tried to peck her on the cheek. She flinched away & he furrowed his brow - looked offended, hurt. He made attempts at trying to talk to her but she didn't look his way, she just abruptly shrugged her shoulder a few times as though a pinched nerve was troubling her.
And that dreadful hand - comatose between his fingers.
She was revolted by him.
He was her grandfather - probably, to her, incomprehensibly old. She wanted money. He wanted to fuck her but something more as well- he wanted to soak in her loveliness - to own her in some way. But it was beyond her, beyond her to pretend to enjoy him.
It seems that there is a lot more than bodies being commodified here - men come seeking not just sex but souls. It seems such a tragic farce for everyone involved. I don't understand how people can so easily make light of an industry so depressing. To ridicule & humiliate the women involved in a transaction that in its essence is ridiculous & humiliating is barbaric & easy. I feel sick (physically sick) at the ease with which people seem able to make 'jokes' about ping-pong balls & 'love me long-time' pick-up lines.
Of course it's not always such a stark mismatch as the couple I walked behind. Sometimes it seems the couples are close enough in age & appearance to make the scenario almost plausible (with a big nudge from poverty playing cupid, of course) but too often it's all just sad & freaky vaudeville parade.
I've tried to think of the girl spending her money. How would she spend it? I've imagined her getting a massage, a full body scrub, a haircut, a pedicure. I wonder what, if anything, she could possibly buy to make up for that terrible, dead, limp hand.
Food maybe.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Today I found a pube with a split-end
There has obviously not been enough moisture in my cunt-region lately.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Children are the new fetuses.
Recently I have been thinking about age - I'm 29 1/2 so it's compulsory to do so. Also quite a few people I care about have recently decided to pop (tear, rip, tug) out a baby and I have been hearing troubling groups of words like 'ten centimetres dialated' and '13 stitches' with alarming frequency.
It has gotten me thinking, now and then, 'I wonder if I....?'
My mind was flowing along these lines the other day while I was watching a group of little tackers running around an empty block of land happily whacking each other. The thought made me snort. Which I had to quickly convert into a cough so as not to draw the attention of the kids (their sticks were very big). Nothing makes me feel more childish than the thought of having a child. Surely I'm not old enough for that kind of grown-up business? Except that apparently I am - I'm almost 30 - my mum was this age when she gave birth to me. If I hunted around I could probably find a statistic that said that it is this very age when women are most likely to carry a pregnancy through to full term (so let's just pretend I've had the maturity & patience to find such evidence).
It's hilarious. It's bizarre.
Fortunately I've found a loop-hole. It has been decided that the 30's are the new 20's. I'm sure if you read the Herald Scum you'll already be well aware of this - there's even a Myspace group dedicated to the notion (http://groups.myspace.com/Inmy30s) asking members to "tell us all about how the 30's kick the 20's ass! ;)" - it's totally official.
So, though I'm 29, I will soon be turning 20 and won't have to seriously consider the notion of breeding for at least another ten years and can relax. Except for a few niggling concerns about the ramifications of a whole decade supercedeing the one before it - will 20's now be the new teens, teens the new childhood, etc.?
It will raise some delicate questions about my stance on abortion, for sure, however my main concern is sex. What will become of sex? Sex will be the new.....what? It's quite intriguing but, as I'm soon to enter my 20's for the second time I should be having a lot of it (whatever it is now) so I'll let you know.
It has gotten me thinking, now and then, 'I wonder if I....?'
My mind was flowing along these lines the other day while I was watching a group of little tackers running around an empty block of land happily whacking each other. The thought made me snort. Which I had to quickly convert into a cough so as not to draw the attention of the kids (their sticks were very big). Nothing makes me feel more childish than the thought of having a child. Surely I'm not old enough for that kind of grown-up business? Except that apparently I am - I'm almost 30 - my mum was this age when she gave birth to me. If I hunted around I could probably find a statistic that said that it is this very age when women are most likely to carry a pregnancy through to full term (so let's just pretend I've had the maturity & patience to find such evidence).
It's hilarious. It's bizarre.
Fortunately I've found a loop-hole. It has been decided that the 30's are the new 20's. I'm sure if you read the Herald Scum you'll already be well aware of this - there's even a Myspace group dedicated to the notion (http://groups.myspace.com/Inmy30s) asking members to "tell us all about how the 30's kick the 20's ass! ;)" - it's totally official.
So, though I'm 29, I will soon be turning 20 and won't have to seriously consider the notion of breeding for at least another ten years and can relax. Except for a few niggling concerns about the ramifications of a whole decade supercedeing the one before it - will 20's now be the new teens, teens the new childhood, etc.?
It will raise some delicate questions about my stance on abortion, for sure, however my main concern is sex. What will become of sex? Sex will be the new.....what? It's quite intriguing but, as I'm soon to enter my 20's for the second time I should be having a lot of it (whatever it is now) so I'll let you know.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Julie Andrews: cuntface
A friend sent me this video. It has the word cunt in it. Therefore it goes in this blog.
What a gorgeous woman she is.
What a gorgeous woman she is.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
This cunt gets around
I have been very busy for the past month staring at sunsets like this:
But Ms. Kakariki has roused me from my tropical slumber with news of this delightful & stylish garment:
Etsy :: kaibrina :: Black Striped Vagina Tank Top
Source: www.etsy.com
Black Striped Vagina Tank Top, kaibrina, $20.00
Once I had gotten over marvelling at how pretty it is I had an uncomfortable moment after thinking 'but I probably wouldn't wear it here'. Then I realised that I probably wouldn't tell any of the Thais I've met here about my preoccupation with the wonder that is the cunt, either. Am I embarrassed? Am I only interested in preaching to the converted? Possibly yes. Oh dear.
Thais are (in general) quite coy, demure - it's not unusual to see locals swimming fully clothed. I guess I think ramming a cunt down their throats just won't be a very effective way of endearing it to them. And yet I relish the idea of putting cunts in the face of all & any back on my home soil - whether they feel ready for it or not. Why is this? I'm confused.
But Ms. Kakariki has roused me from my tropical slumber with news of this delightful & stylish garment:
Etsy :: kaibrina :: Black Striped Vagina Tank Top
Source: www.etsy.com
Black Striped Vagina Tank Top, kaibrina, $20.00
Once I had gotten over marvelling at how pretty it is I had an uncomfortable moment after thinking 'but I probably wouldn't wear it here'. Then I realised that I probably wouldn't tell any of the Thais I've met here about my preoccupation with the wonder that is the cunt, either. Am I embarrassed? Am I only interested in preaching to the converted? Possibly yes. Oh dear.
Thais are (in general) quite coy, demure - it's not unusual to see locals swimming fully clothed. I guess I think ramming a cunt down their throats just won't be a very effective way of endearing it to them. And yet I relish the idea of putting cunts in the face of all & any back on my home soil - whether they feel ready for it or not. Why is this? I'm confused.
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