Saturday, April 18, 2009

Intrepid cunts venture into the deep dark south

Melbourne, for those who haven't had the pleasure of visiting, is a city divided. Quite literally - down its middle flows the Yarra River and though you could swim from bank to bank through the slow coffee water in under five minutes people just. don't. cross. You'd think it was a sky-high electric barbed wire fence patrolled by cannibalistic lepers, the way we avoid it. We're Northside or we're Southside and, except for in extreme emergencies, we stick to our own turf.

Which is why I am so very impressed that two of the daring crafters who attended Trashbag Rehab took the gorgeous cunts they produced on the evening, left their beer-stained comfort zone, and bravely ventured to the spray-tanned bleached-teeth south for so
me flinging action.

Well done Jade & Andrea - brilliant work.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Can I put a disco ball in the anus, Mum?

Oh good lordy that was fun. Trashbag Rehab was an exercise in cunt-making mania.

At a rough guesstimate, one kazillion freakishly gorgeous people showed up,

collected their respect-your-box kit with needle, thread and basic instructions,

kicked back to tunes from DJ Super Julie

and proceeded to create the most divinely diverse array of cunt fling-ups yet.

The results were wonderful

Though there is reason to suspect that, despite being given diagrams, some of the crafters were quite unfamiliar with the appearance of a cunt...

... they were all made with love & hot love was in the air when the evening ended with the awesome punk-knitting vid 'Marsha' by Kate Just.

My favourite quotes from the event:

"I picked up a cute boy last night but I left my vagina at the bar" -Hannah

"Who ARE these people?" - Passer-by

& from the eight year old son of Bebida Bar's owners "Mum, can I put a disco ball in the anus?" to which she replied "Yes you can, Son, yes you can". Gold.

I wanna do it all again! Which is good, because we are. The next Trashy Rehab will also be blessedly cunt-related: embroidery porn. Subscribe to Craft Cartel & we'll let you know all about it. In the meantime - give your cunt a nice fling xx